


#bisexualsteverogers

by AllonsyHelen



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bisexual, Bisexual Bucky Barnes, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Bisexuality, Flashbacks, LGBT, M/M, Past Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, bi bi bi, bisexual captain america, even though it's not discussed he just is guys, he's the hero we need
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-16
Updated: 2015-05-15
Packaged: 2018-03-23 04:37:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3754822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllonsyHelen/pseuds/AllonsyHelen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Hi, I’m Steve Rogers – Captain America – and I have two very important things to say. First. I am bisexual. Second. I’m with you till the end of the line. Thank you.”<br/>In which Steve Rogers comes out and the result is not what he expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! I got the idea for this while daydreaming about what it would be like if Steve Rogers were real and if he came out. The media frenzy would be incredible and tumblr would explode. As would I. So I found myself sitting on a plane for 14 hours from Korea to JFK and I wrote out this little thing. Hope you enjoy! And remember... Steve Rogers is bisexual.

Steve’s palms are sweaty against the wood of the podium, which he’s gripping tightly. His fingernails dig in and there are wood shavings stuck in them already. He clears his throat. This is somehow scarier than storming a HYDRA base, though it isn’t dissimilar. Back then he had people watching his back, and now he’s got Sam and Natasha standing off to the side, watching the crowd, watching him, waiting for him to start speaking. The last time he glanced back Sam gave him a thumbs up and Natasha just rolled her eyes as if to say,  _Enough with the dramatic pause, just spit it out already._

The whole thing is very official – too official – but this is, of course, how it has to be. It wouldn’t work otherwise.

 ***

Sam was skeptical for a long time. “Nothing else is working,” Steve had insisted. “This is my best idea.”

After weeks of arguing Sam still maintained that it wouldn’t work, Bucky wouldn’t see it, it was too much, but Steve shut him up after that with a firm “For him, nothing is too much.”

Natasha arrived at Steve’s door then, back from her six months of self-discovery in undisclosed locations. She was dressed in all black and smiling. “Found your ice buddy yet?” she asked without preamble.

Steve shook his head, a little stunned after not seeing or hearing from her in half a year, though not surprised that she would show up like this with no warning and act like it wasn't a big deal.

“Oh well.” She let herself inside, going past him and making herself at home on the couch. Steve was glad to see her, though, and didn't waste much time before informing her of his idea. She agreed to help him immediately with a knowing smile.

“You do realize this only broadens the list of date suggestions, yes?”

Steve bowed his head in resignation. “Yes, of course.”

Natasha helped convince Sam easily – by telling him, “You’re in or you’re out and we don’t particularly need you in.” So he agreed, and the two of them called this press conference for Steve. All he had to do was practice his incredibly simple script and show up.

 ***

Now he braces himself for a moment. The chairs are filled with members of the media, cameras and recorders at the ready, sitting on the edges of their seats. “When Captain America talks, the world will listen,” Natasha had said. She was right. The Avengers had been quiet the past six months since SHIELD disassembled. They’re all here today, though, standing in a row in the back. Tony’s arms are crossed and it’s clear he’s pissed that he has to find out whatever it is Steve’s going to say at the same time as everyone else. Thor stands next to him, leaning back against the wall with an open expression on his face; a humorous contrast with Tony. Next to Thor is Bruce, whose expression is carefully guarded. His arms are also crossed. Clint is next and he has a knowing look in his eye; it’s possible Natasha tipped him off about the subject matter.

Steve takes in a deep breath, knowing that it’s the last free one he’ll have for awhile, like the last breath of fresh air before a sandstorm sweeps in. As he opens his mouth to speak, he pictures Bucky – the Bucky inside the Winter Soldier’s body, the Bucky who doesn’t know who he is, who’s out there _somewhere_ , but not in any of the places Steve can think of.

The thought of this, the reason he’s doing it, pushes the words from his mouth.

“Hi, I’m Steve Rogers – Captain America – and I have two very important things to say.”

This is crucial. Both statements are important and this won’t work if people don’t hear the second one.

“First.” _Think of having Bucky home again._ “I am bisexual.”

Tony’s jaw actually drops and his mouth hangs open for a few moments before he realizes it. The rest of the team looks stunned, too, and indignant that they hadn’t been told personally. Natasha smirks from up on the stage while beside her, Sam looks out at the assembled crowd in apprehension.

Cameras are flashing, people are murmuring, shifting. Steve remains calm and doesn’t continue until everyone has turned back to him, and all the recorders and cameras are facing him once more.

“Second. I’m with you till the end of the line.” He nods politely amid the rise of more murmurs. “Thank you.” And with that, he turns and walks off the stage, followed closely by Natasha and Sam.

***

Tony is the first to reach him backstage. “What. The hell. Was that?” he demands. Steve looks down at him, relief pumping adrenaline into his body.

“That was an important message,” he says simply. Natasha is enjoying this, and she makes it clear with her wide grin.

“That? That was a stunt by a crazy old man! Do you have any idea how to deal with what will happen now? No news for months from you or any of us, and then all of a sudden BAM!” He actually shouts. “Captain America likes dick!”

“Yes but do you remember the second thing I said?” Steve asks imploringly.

“I stopped listening after the word ‘bisexual,’” Tony says. “Because I figured there’s no point in me listening to the ramblings of a crazy man.”

Steve sighs and looks to Natasha. He doesn’t want to see Sam’s expression because this is exactly what he’d warned would happen.

“Tony’s not a good example,” Natasha assures him.

“We have a situation here that I’d hoped at least you would understand!” Tony exclaims, turning his attention to Natasha. “Welcome back, by the way, hope you brought me a souvenir.”

Natasha rolls her eyes. “We don’t answer to anyone, Tony, not anymore. And if we did answer to someone, it wouldn’t be you.”

Tony looks to Bruce, Thor, and Clint now, who have joined them. “You guys see that this is crazy, right?”

“What does the second thing that you said mean?” Thor asks Steve, instead of responding to Tony. Tony throws his hands up in the air in frustration.

“It’s his prerogative to be open about his sexuality,” Bruce says to Tony. “Especially since, as Natasha said, we are now free to do what we want.”

“We’re still a team and these things should be decided upon diplomatically!” Tony insists. “I would have liked to be involved.”

“Of course you would have,” Clint says, “but surprisingly, this has nothing to do with you.”

Tony has no response and everyone looks to Steve to say something.

“He’s right, it has nothing to do with you, Stark,” Steve says. “It has to do with me. And Bucky.”

“I knew it!” Tony exclaims immediately.

“No, no, it isn’t like that,” Steve says.

Everyone gives him skeptical looks. Tony is about to say something when Sam says, “Maybe you should just explain. Maybe they have a right to know.”

Steve takes a moment to look at each of them, one at a time, before he says, “I’ve spent the past six months tracing hunches all over the world and all I’ve found was dust and ghost stories. I gained nothing but intel, just bits and pieces, about what happened to Bucky while he was- while they had him. I killed remnants of HYDRA, snuffed out flames, where I could. But looking for Bucky isn’t working and all that’s happening is I’m losing time. Time Bucky is spending God knows where, doing God knows what. And I can’t think of him out there, not knowing how hard I’m trying to find him, to save him.” The faces of his team are sympathetic but confused. Tony looks like he’s about to say something.

“So this is a message to him,” Steve wraps up simply, leaving everyone more confused.

“So you two _were_ …?” Bruce trails off so as not to have to complete the suggestion in case it’s wrong.

“No, no,” Steve says quickly with a shake of his head. He tries not to look regretful, though of course he is. Of _course_. “I had to stop hiding from the media. I needed to get my message to him on the front page of newspapers all over the world. And what do people talk about more than a good coming out?”

“So you aren’t…?” Thor asks.

“I am, though in all honesty, I don’t see it as being the media’s business.”

“Or anyone else’s, apparently,” Tony mutters resentfully, arms crossed, eyebrows knit.

“Exactly. But…if Bucky sees it, if he sees my message…it’s worth it,” Steve says.

“And your message is ‘Till the end of the line’?” Clint asks skeptically.

Steve nods. “He’ll know. Nobody else will. But they’ll print it anyway."

***  

The next morning, Steve’s still asleep when there’s pounding at his apartment door. He awakens immediately and grabs his shield, which he keeps under his bed when he’s sleeping. The pounding continues and he makes his way quickly to the door, peering out the peephole. It’s Pepper. He sets the shield aside, a little embarrassed, and opens the door.

“Steve.” Pepper nods and lets herself in. Her voice is all business. Steve is wearing a ratty t-shirt and boxers and feels underdressed for whatever this is.

“Pepper. Good morning. Would you like, uh, coffee?” Sleep is still hanging in his mind and he's not sure if this is happening or if it's a dream.

“This will only take a few minutes,” Pepper says. She hands him the folder she’s holding. “Now. Here are copies of the articles that have already printed. I’ve also included transcripts of the news segments from this morning that have discussed you.”

Steve takes it and pages through as she speaks. It’s a little overwhelming. There are pages and pages of news stories, all about him and his sexuality, something that he'd always been taught to keep to himself or else something terrible would happen. In the 30s, maybe it would have, but this isn't the 30s. This is the future, and everyone knows, and he himself doesn't feel much different for it. “Wow,” is all he can say. He eyes a headline that says ‘Fallen Hero, Captain America.’

“Tony told me the reason behind this but I wanted to talk to you personally about what’s going to happen now.”

Steve feels like he used to when he’d backtalk the teacher in school and she would hold him after class to talk to him. “Hopefully,” he says, clearing his throat before continuing, “he’ll see it. Bucky.”

“Yes, hopefully,” Pepper agrees with a warm smile. It seems genuine, and Steve is grateful for that. “But this is going to be about a lot more than that. This is big, Steve. A member of the Avengers – Captain _America_ – has just come out. This is going to have a very major impact in pretty much every sphere of the media.”

Steve nods along slowly. It had obviously occurred to him, but that isn’t what it’s about. It's about getting Bucky back. It doesn't matter that he's a little freaked out that everyone knows now; what's important is that if everyone knows, Bucky will know.

"In the folder I’ve included some reactions from individuals but this is all very preliminary. There will be many more posts, articles, TV segments, things like that.”

“That’s good. That’s what I want,” Steve says, snapping the folder closed.

Pepper nods. “Good. How do you feel about agreeing to some interviews? Many offers have already come in, including Jon Stewart, Ellen Degeneres, and Bill O’Reilly, if you can believe it. I wouldn’t agree to the last one if I were you but the others would be great.”

Steve doesn’t want to do interviews, never has, but if it might help the message reach Bucky then he’ll do it. He’ll do anything. “Sure.”

“Good. Just read those over and I’ll send along more later in the day.” She turns to leave.

“Thank you, Pepper,” Steve says, fighting the urge to call her ‘Ms. Potts.’

“Of course. Things have been pretty boring lately, so really I should be thanking you,” she says, before disappearing out into the hall.

***

Steve gets dressed and goes out for a run before tackling the folder. It’s later in the morning so there are more people out and about along the Mall than there usually are, and he gets a lot of stares. Fortunately, he runs fast enough that no one stops him to ask any questions.

He’s tried to exercise regularly over the past months, but it was challenging to establish a routine moving from place to place. The routine-loving part of him is glad to be back home, though he does sort of wish that ‘home’ were 1930s Brooklyn in his old apartment with Bucky. He tries not to think like this, but sometimes he can't help it. Things were so imperfectly perfect then and he'd had no idea how good he had it until he lost it all.

As he approaches the apartment after his run, he hopes but tries not to dwell on the idea that Bucky might be there waiting for him. It’s too early for any response. He has to give it time to reach Bucky in the first place, and probably even more time for Bucky to decide to come. It’s like an open invitation, a hand extended. Steve is telling Bucky that he’s ready whenever Bucky is, and that he’s still on his side. Chasing wasn’t working, so now waiting will have to do.

He comes home to an empty apartment, tries not to dwell on the disappointment he feels at not seeing Bucky sitting by the door, turning to look at him as he comes around the corner. He didn’t expect that anyway, he tells himself.

He showers and puts on fresh clothes, then makes himself coffee, eggs, and toast, and sits down at the table with the folder in front of him. He opens it and reads the first item, a newspaper article. 

> CAPTAIN AMERICA: BISEXUAL
> 
> At a press conference yesterday, Steve Rogers – known as Captain America, World War II hero who destroyed SHIELD earlier this year – came out as bisexual.
> 
> His statement was simple. “First, I am bisexual. Second, I’m with you till the end of the line.” This was Captain Rogers’ first public appearance in over six months and he raised more questions than answers. The nation has been buzzing since the destruction of SHIELD and the revelation that the Nazi rogue organization, HYDRA, had taken over the nation’s top, most secretive intelligence agency.
> 
> Perhaps the most mysterious and scandalous revelation was the identity of the Winter Soldier, HYDRA’s most deadly operative who was thought to be a myth until the events at the Triskelion, SHIELD’s former headquarters. The Winter Soldier was revealed to be James “Bucky” Barnes, former Howling Commando and Steve Rogers’ childhood best friend. A warrant is out for Barnes’ arrest, and he has sat on the FBI’s Most Wanted list ever since the reveal. His whereabouts are unknown.
> 
> Captain Rogers disappeared shortly afterward. He has been spotted in several former Communist countries across Eastern Europe and Asia, sometimes joined by friend and fellow veteran, Sam Wilson.
> 
> Many believe that Rogers has been searching for Barnes, though it is unclear if he was working with the government’s attempts to find the fugitive or if he was working independently. Now, however, he has returned to Washington and given this statement, baffling many.
> 
> Is it true that Captain America is bisexual, or is this a media stunt for attention? And what does his second statement, ‘I’m with you till the end of the line’ mean? Many believe that it refers to America – revealing a secret and reminding the country he is with us ‘til the end of the line.’ Others believe we cannot trust Captain America anymore, and it must be a sign that HYDRA/SHIELD has not disappeared and is still controlling Rogers.
> 
> Rogers will not respond to our requests for a statement or interview. The nation holds it breath for more information from the superhero.

*******  

It’s pretty much exactly what he’d expected, all facts, information, and questions. It included the second statement which is good. He skips over the next few articles until he gets to the blog posts. The first one is titled ‘Why?!?!?!’

> Why is Steve Rogers – I hesitate to refer to him as Captain America anymore – doing this? Has he suffered a brain-altering injury in the past few months? Was he under the influence of drugs? Maybe he’s a puppet being mind-controlled by God knows who. Maybe he’s really been this way the whole time and we just never knew.
> 
> Nobody wants a Captain America who’s a stripper or having threesomes all over the place! He was supposed to be pure and righteous. This thing is the opposite of that. I can’t believe it. I’m hurt and I just don’t even know what to think anymore. Maybe I can formulate words better in the morning. I feel like this is an unpopular opinion but *le shrug* I don’t care

Steve sighs deeply several times as he reads it. He expected worse, honestly. The neighborhood he’d grown up in had been the most accepting place in Brooklyn, but that didn’t make it any easier to have impure thoughts about men. These comments aren’t really so bad in retrospect.

He flips to the next blog post. It has no title but just starts out with,

> Steve Rogers, pissing on the fabric of America,

so he stops reading. He skips a few more (which range in intensity from Why must he ruin my night? to Why can’t you pick one, you gay retarded piece of shit? Hope they let you wear tights in hell!) until he gets to one that has a sticky note on the front. It’s written in Pepper’s neat handwriting and says _Steve, read these next few, they’re important._

So he reads the next few.

> I’m crying and this might not make much sense but oh my god I can’t believe this is really happening. I watched the video fourteen times, I’m not kidding, and I’m not even done yet. Fourteen times I saw CAPTAIN AMERICA say he’s bisexual. Oh my god I’m gonna puke. This is everything I’ve ever wanted, literally a dream come true, wow just WOW wow W0W

That makes Steve smile a little, and he keeps reading.

> So I log on tumblr and I see all these gifs of steve rogers apparently saying he’s bi, and I’m like, okay the fandom’s getting out of hand again. But I’ve never seen the video the gifs came from so I go searching on youtube for a new press conference from steve, and I find this video. And it’s true. He’s actually bi. It’s in the news and everything and I just
> 
> I can’t believe this
> 
> Finally, FINALLY, it’s a good day to be bisexual.

He's glad people are happy that he came out, but he's a little annoyed at the lack of speculation about the "I'm with you till the end of the line" statement. He tells himself that it will come, and that Bucky wouldn't be looking at tumblr posts anyway so it doesn't matter, but it does. It still matters. Bucky is the whole reason he did this and he wants it to succeed because if it doesn't, he's not sure what to do next.

***

_“Buck, I’m bein’ serious, please, just be serious with me.” Steve’s legs, spotted with bruises and ready to snap if a strong wind should pick up, dangle off the edge of the fire escape. Bucky sits next to him, leaning against the bars, legs swinging through the air. Their shoulders touch, but only because the landing is so small. Car horns blare below and the sound of angry yelling in foreign languages can be heard, even up here. No matter where you go, New York is loud. Steve loves that._

_“I’m bein’ serious too,” Bucky says, holding his hands up in surrender. “I am, I’m so serious, I’m a heart attack. Just watch me be serious. Look.” He frowns and looks at Steve with intense eyes._

_Steve sendshis own eyes skyward and then back down to fix Bucky with a level gaze. “Okay, Buck. You’re a heart attack. Very serious. So answer my question, quit beatin’ around the bush. Do you think guys are as attractive as girls?”_

_Steve can hear the hush fall over Bucky’s mind as he decides to really be serious; that’s how in tune he is with Bucky. “Steve,” he says quietly, though no one could ever hear them, not out here. “You don’t talk about these things, okay?”_

_“What do you mean, Buck, you’re my best friend, we talk about everything,” Steve insists. “I don’t see how this is different.”_

_Bucky shakes his head. “It just is. If you gotta pick one then I’m gonna pick the dames, and you should too. You can’t just say you like ‘em both. And you know it’s dangerous to…” He trails off and jerks his head upward, an indication of everything dangerous about being queer._

_“But I don’t think I could pick,” Steve insists. “Do I have to pick?” When he pictures a girl and a guy, in his mind, in the dead of night, he can never seem to decide which one he would like better. There’s so many good things about both._

_“You do,” Bucky says. “Everybody else does. Even the guys, you know, in those clubs.” He now jerks his head downwards, toward the street, where there are plenty of places they both know enough not to talk about._

_“How do you know?” Steve asks._

_“I just know.” Bucky pulls himself up, having had enough of this. “Let’s go. We both got homework.”_

_Steve sighs. He can hear Bucky climbing back through the window, but Steve stays outside for a little while, feeling the metal digging into the backs of his legs, looking at the buildings across the way, thinking that if he focuses hard enough,_ maybe _he’ll be able to pick. Because Bucky’s right, he has to pick one. Everybody else does._

***

He’s on almost every channel on TV. It makes his morning coffee a little less enjoyable when he has to hear everyone's opinions about his sexuality. One good thing is that they’re all playing the clip of him coming out, and they aren’t cutting off the second statement. In fact, they’re trying to figure out what it means.

“What could ‘I’m with you till the end of the line’ mean?” Kelly asks Regis, and Steve smiles a little. This was the whole point. Bucky might not even be in America, he might be in a Buddhist temple at the top of a mountain in Nepal, but if he’s anywhere the media can reach him, then Steve’s message is going to reach him too. It has to. Steve will make it happen.

He calls up Pepper later that day and asks what would be involved in accepting an appearance on a talk show. She sounds like she’s smiling as she responds, “It wouldn’t be hard at all. I’ll do the heavy lifting, you just have to show up. We can even get a PR person in to talk to you about how to handle it.”

“That won’t be necessary,” Steve says. “I’m used to being onstage.” Then he’d been parading around as a figurehead, and this time he would probably be a figurehead too. That’s what this whole reaction is showing him, so far. He’s becoming some kind of icon, which he’d never anticipated but won’t complain about. If the bisexuals need an icon then they can certainly have him, just as long as he won’t have to wear tights.

It isn’t long until he finds himself walking out onto the stage of the _Ellen Degeneres Show_ , which he’d watched several episodes of in his hotel the night before in preparation. Pepper told him that it’s one of the most popular talk shows in America, that Ellen is a gay icon herself, and that she will definitely give him positive press. Before the show, Ellen had asked if there was anything he wanted her to ask, and he only had one request: that she show the clip of his coming out in its entirety. She had agreed, and now here he is, walking onto the stage amidst enormous applause. He’s smiling wide for the cameras, his official Captain America persona in place.

Ellen invites him to sit and he does. “So, Steve!” she smiles at him and he’s jittery but not nervous, because he knows she’s on his side. Pepper assured him of it, and by watching her past interviews, he knows he’s got an ally here. “Wow. It’s pretty amazing to have you here. I mean, what a series of events that happened just to bring you to my show.”

Steve nods. “Yeah, I’m glad I got frozen so I could be here.”

“It was certainly an unforeseen plus,” Ellen agrees. “I know we’re all fascinated with that. I mean, waking up in the future... I can't even imagine what that must've been like.”

“It was disorienting.” Steve looks out toward the audience, which he can barely see thanks to the lights. “Picture the most out of place you’ve ever felt, and multiply it by ten. That’s what it was like.”

“Wow, that must have been overwhelming,” Ellen says.

“It was.”

“So we all know your story. We know what happened, uh, a few months ago, with SHIELD and HYDRA. And of course, your best friend from Brooklyn, right?”

Steve nods and glances at the camera. “Yeah, seeing Bucky again was an emotional experience,” he says. He hasn’t made any public statement about this since it happened. He had no time before he went looking for Bucky, and even then he wasn't sure what to say about it. “You know, here’s my best friend, this guy I thought I saw die in 1945. And he’s here again somehow, alive, but he’s trying to kill me.” His eyes are sad, he can’t help it.

“It’s tragic,” Ellen says. He can tell that she’s sad too. It saddens everyone, what happened to Bucky, and Steve knows people think he’s a lost cause. If he’s not dead already, he’ll die in jail, that’s what they assume.

“You know, I think he’s still alive,” Steve says. “I think he’s out there. I thought for sure he was dead once and I don’t want to assume he’s dead again. Even if I saw him die I wouldn’t believe it. He’s gotta be out there somewhere, I’m just not sure where.”

“Do you think he’ll ever come find you?” Ellen asks.

Steve looks toward the camera as he says, “I sure hope he does.”

Ellen nods a little. “That would be great. Now, about the statement you made. It’s the elephant in the room so we may as well talk about it. Let’s watch it real quick here, though I’m sure everybody’s already seen it.” She turns and Steve follows her cue to look at the screen behind them. His statement plays in full and he’s relieved. It’s unlikely that Bucky sits down every day to watch Ellen, but Steve doesn’t have much of a choice; he has to hope because the alternative is worse.

“So. That was short and sweet,” Ellen says when it’s over, turning back toward him.

“Yeah, well, I’m a man of few words,” Steve says.

“I have to say, this is pretty amazing,” Ellen says. “I mean, for a member of the Avengers to come out like that…” She shakes her head slowly. “It’s amazing, really. Everybody knows your name and now everybody knows you’re bisexual, which is something that definitely needs more attention these days.”

“Yeah, well, I just wanted to bring it out into the open,” Steve says. “Didn’t want to hide it anymore.” He’s winging it. That had nothing to do with why he wanted to come out, or at least, it wasn’t a big part of it. He wanted to come out so he could get his message to Bucky. He wanted to come out so there would be a big media storm and everyone would be talking about him. It hadn’t really been about the pressures of keeping it inside, because there weren’t any. He didn’t take interviews and he did a pretty good job of keeping his life private. People were always speculating about his life, even speculating about him and Bucky, but he didn’t pay much attention. He was too busy being Captain America to worry about what people thought of his love life.

"Well, men who like men everywhere are very happy to hear that you like men too," Ellen says. "Though I can't imagine why, you're not really that attractive..."

Steve laughs as a picture of him shirtless flashes up on the screen behind him. He's not really sure where they got it but he isn't going to ask.

“But really, what was it like as a bisexual young man in Brooklyn in the 1930s and 40s? Probably very different from being a bisexual man in 2015.”

“Well I lived in a pretty progressive neighborhood,” Steve says. “But even still, those things were underground. I didn’t know bisexuality existed for awhile, and I never had a word for it back then. I would’ve just said ‘queer’ if I was gonna say anything-”

***

_Bucky licks his lips, staring at the small piece of cake that Steve, after saving up enough money, had bought for him at the store. “You know you didn’t have to do this, Stevie,” Bucky says for the third time since the cake was given to him, and the fifth time since Steve sang Happy Birthday off-key (though one of those was just to get him to shut up)._

_“I wanted to do it,” Steve says. He’s still hovering above Bucky._

_“You want half?” Bucky asks, looking up at him._

_“Nah.” Steve shakes his head. He moves over to sit down in his own chair across the small table. He’s hobbling from a fight he got in a few days before. Bucky frowns, fork poised above the cake, ready to dive in at any moment._

_“You sure that ankle of yours is okay?” he asks. “I mean you still got a pretty good shiner too but we know that’ll heal up alright.”_

_“Yeah ankle’s fine.” Steve feels uncomfortable with the new subject of discussion. Bucky usually doesn’t bring up his fights. He knows it’s a sore subject._

_“What was it, anyway?” Bucky presses. “Who did you provoke?”_

_“Didn’t provoke anybody.” Steve’s evasive because he doesn’t want Bucky finding out the real reason. A few guys had beaten him up because they said he was a fairy, and hell, maybe they were right. He had been hanging around places he shouldn't have been, trying to get up the courage to go inside. He had provoked them._

_“Sure ya did,” Bucky says, shaking his head fondly._

_“Nope, didn’t do anything, they just had a beef with me.”_

_“What beef?”_

_“Nothing.”_

_“Come on, Stevie, what?”_

_“Just eat your cake.”_

_“Why’d they do it?”_

_Steve doesn't say anything and Bucky gives him time, until, “…they said I’m a fairy. Okay?”_

_“…okay.”_

_There’s a long pause while Bucky sets down his fork deliberately, puts his hands on his thighs, and looks at Steve._

_“Well you’re not,” he says. “Not that it would be bad if you were. Just, you’re not queer.” He’s telling Steve rather than asking, but he doesn’t mean it in any malicious way. He just knows as well as Steve how bad it would be for him to like men. Worse than him having asthma, that's for sure._

_“‘course I’m not,” Steve says. Bucky nods, picks up the fork, and focuses completely on his cake._  

***

“-but I never did.”

“So you never told anyone?” Ellen asks. She looks sympathetic.

“Nah, never did.” But it had seemed, at the time, like he didn’t have to. It seemed sometimes like Bucky just knew, though neither of them said anything about it.

“That must have been very hard.”

“It was.”

“So now that you’re here, uh, in the ‘future,’ everything probably seems progressive to you.”

“Yeah it’s pretty great. The first time I saw the Pride Parade, that was a big moment for me.” Seeing something like that happen right out in the street in the middle of New York had made it all seem so unreal. People were out and proud here, more than he would ever have been able to imagine in the 40s.

“So being able to come out like this and get so much support is a gift for you,” Ellen says, and then she turns and picks up from behind her seat a gift box wrapped in rainbow wrapping paper. It even has a big rainbow bow on it. She hands it over to him, saying, “And we got you a coming out gift too.”

Steve grins, glances out into the audience, and starts to open it, being careful not to tear the wrapping paper. It takes a moment, and Ellen says, “You can rip it, it’s fine, we have plenty more in the back and surprisingly few occasions to use it.”

So Steve rips the paper off the box and opens it, revealing inside – “Are these…?” He holds them up.

“Footie pajamas. Bisexual Captain America footie pajamas. Welcome to the future, Cap.” 

*** 

Steve’s got a beer in his hands, even though he can’t get drunk. It’s one of the many times since Bucky ‘died’ that he’s longed for the warm hug of drunkenness. It’s being denied to him this time, as it has every other time, and as it will for the rest of his life. He’s slouched forward on his hotel bed, staring at the drink, the world around him completely gone. It’s been a few weeks since he came out and he’s on this press tour Pepper set up. He’s only going along with it because Pepper says that if he doesn’t, the news will die out. He can already feel people’s interest slacking. #bisexualsteverogers isn’t trending on Twitter anymore, and fewer reporters are calling for interviews.

He feels like this is the end, and Bucky’s nowhere. The news hasn’t reached the most remote places, surely, and Bucky’s probably in one of those. He might even be in Russia, where the news has most certainly been suppressed. Bucky could be watching the evening news every night from Moscow and he still wouldn’t know. The thought infuriates Steve and he hurls the bottle at the wall. It shatters, of course, but there’s not much liquid in it to spill. He’ll clean up the glass later, but for now he just gets up, chest rising and falling quickly. The thought of the message never reaching Bucky kills him.

Because if Bucky doesn’t see his message – and really, it was such a long shot, wasn’t it? – then what’s the point? Sam was right. It’s too much risk and not enough reward. Steve doesn’t mind that people know he’s bi, but it’s been a waste of his time doing this stupid press tour to make sure everyone in the world knows it. He could have been looking for Bucky but instead he’s staying in plush hotel rooms, doing interviews, taping shows, then sleeping and repeating.

He can’t stand being in the room anymore so he pushes open the door and stalks down the hall. He gets in the elevator and leans against the wall, arms crossed. He should tell Pepper to just cancel the whole thing, he thinks, and by the time he’s out on the street he’s decided that that’s exactly what he’ll do. He has to switch tactics now. He’ll never find Bucky like this, and it was ignorant to think that he would.

He’s walking down the street he’s staying on; it’s in a pretty residential area so there aren’t many street lights. He hopes it's dark enough that he won't be recognized, but it isn’t long before he hears his name being called from behind him. He turns around reluctantly and puts a smile on his face. Normally he doesn’t mind meeting fans but he wishes he could walk in public undisturbed every now and then. There’s a girl standing a few paces behind him, looking nervous. She’s got to be 17 or 18, and she has on a black sweatshirt, tight jeans, and Chuck Taylors. It’s low light so he can barely see her. He takes a few steps forward so they can talk.

“You’re Steve Rogers,” she says, looking at him in awe. He gets that look a lot.

“I am, yes, and who are you?” he asks.

“Lacey,” she says. “Oh my God. I never thought I’d get to meet you, but- wow. I’m glad I am. This is perfect, actually.”

“Would you like me to sign something?” Steve asks. "We can take a selfie too."

“Sure, yeah!” She pulls out her phone from her pocket and hands it to him. “Here, hold this for a sec?” He takes it and watches as she opens her purse and roots through it for a Sharpie; when she finds it she gives it to him. “Can you just sign my phone case?”

He nods and signs it, then hands it back to her. She turns it on to take the selfie but the light’s bad, so he suggests they move under the street light half a block away. She agrees and it isn't until they're standing in the light that he can really make out her features. Most people might not notice it, because the lighting still isn’t great, and that explains why he didn’t see it before; the area around her left eye is darkened. She has a black eye, and it’s healing but isn’t quite gone yet. He would know, he used to get them often enough. He and Bucky had it down to the point where they could tell from a glance exactly how long a black eye had left to heal.

“What happened to your eye?” he asks.

She looks down immediately. “Oh. Nothing.”

“Couldn’t have been nothing,” Steve says. “Used to get them like that all the time. What’s the other kid look like?”

She laughs a little, but then frowns. “He looks great, actually. They all do.”

“All?” Steve repeats, frowning as well.

“Yeah, just these guys from my school.”

“You got beaten up by boys from your school?”  That hadn’t been right in the 30s and it wasn’t right now.

“Yeah… It was because I came out…” She looks embarrassed but he doesn’t know why she would be.

“You came out?”

“Yeah, I’m bi. Like you.” She smiles up at him. And the look in her eyes – the hope that he sees there – it makes his heart feel a thousand times lighter. _Like you._

“Well that’s great that you came out,” Steve says. “But not great they beat you up for it. Obviously.” He's not really sure what to say to her. He hadn't had the courage to come out when he was her age.

“Yeah I mean it was kind of shitty. They called me a dyke and I told them I wasn’t, and it sort of escalated from there. I provoked-”

“Hey, don’t say that!” Steve cuts her off. “If they called you – that – then they provoked you. I should show up at your school and beat _them_ up.”

“That would be awesome,” she says, looking at him shyly. “Except you already fixed everything without knowing it. It was because of you that I even had the courage to come out, and most people were great about it. All my friends were good with it. My guy friends and I can talk about girls now and stuff so they're excited. And my mom didn’t believe me before when I told her a year ago or so, but when you came out, she read it in the paper and told me that she’s been rethinking it and she’s sorry she didn’t believe it existed before. So you already did so much.”

Steve’s been reading things like this online, personal stories people have shared about how it helped them, but it’s the look in her eyes that really drives the point home. Maybe it didn’t help Bucky, but it did help a lot of people all over the world. It was worth it because of things like this, kids like Lacey. He’d made things easier for a lot of people just by coming out. If, when he and Bucky were growing up, someone had come into the national spotlight and said that bisexuality existed and not only that but it was okay, then they could have at least been honest with themselves and each other. It wouldn't have been such a horrible thing.

He hadn’t realized the impact this would have for bisexuals before he did it, and now he felt stupid for not doing it earlier. He didn’t care if people knew or if they didn't know, not anymore, but maybe people needed to know. He was a superhero, after all. People needed him.

“Well, it’s my pleasure,” he says after a moment.

“I’m glad you came out,” she says. “I was hoping for a hero like you.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And now, from our favorite mind-controlled boyfriend...

When the Winter Soldier first sees Steve on the news, he doesn’t recognize him. He doesn’t tune in because he’s too busy stirring the vodka in his glass with a metal finger, wishing it did something, _anything_ , to him. He started drinking in the hopes that it would clear some things up, that the alcohol might explain to him who he is. Now he knows that’s ridiculous because it has no more effect than drinking water. It burns as it goes down and the warm glow in his chest lasts only for a moment before his body dissolves it, and poof, any good feelings are gone, like they always are, shortly after arrival.

So the Winter Soldier’s more focused on his vodka than on the TV over the bar. He’s been in more bars around the world than a twenty-two year old man backpacking on Daddy’s credit card. But unlike those men, those lucky, lucky men, the Winter Soldier has no idea who he is, and he can’t even get drunk enough to forget _that_. And oh, God, would it be glorious. The fuzziness of it, the feeling of slipping away, the dizzying sensation of laughter and…

“Hey, buddy, you drinking or just sitting, because you’re takin’ up valuable space.” There’s a man behind him and before he knows it, the Soldier is standing above him, breathing hard, and the man is lying with wide eyes on the ground, frozen in fear. The Soldier isn’t sure what he did, but there are finger marks on the man’s neck. The Soldier looks around for a moment, then disappears, out of the bar, into the night.

\--

The second time the Winter Soldier sees Steve’s speech, he’s in a motel room outside of Albuquerque. He isn’t sure what he’s doing there. Maybe it’s just that he exhausted places to go – he’s been all over Eastern Europe; he’s killed HYDRA agents; most importantly, he’s left a trail, he’s been predictable, and he’s not safe. So in a convenience store in Krakow, he bought a map of the world, pointed to a random place, and used one of his many undercover identities made for him by HYDRA to get a plane ticket to New Mexico.

He’s flipping through channels, trying to figure out what to do with himself. It’s early in the morning and he hasn’t slept in a few days. He forgets sometimes about things he needs to do, like sleep, eat, shower. More than once, he’s forgotten to go to the bathroom until it’s too late. Animals do what they’re told when they’re told to, and that’s how the Soldier has been operating for a long time, a lifetime, or what should have been a lifetime. Now that no one tells him what to do, he’s very unsure what to do with himself.

More than once, he’s found himself on a rooftop, or with a knife to his own throat. He doesn’t do it, though. No one’s told him to, and he can’t quite decide if he wants to or not. He can’t decide if he wants to sit or stand, sleep or stay awake, live or die. He’s stuck, and seeing Steve’s face on the TV screen as he contemplates all of this only confuses him more.

He can’t hear anything coming from the TV, and he doesn’t do anything to change that. It might be broken or on mute, but he doesn’t care. He doesn’t want to hear what Steve’s saying. Either way, he can see Steve’s lips move, and he knows this man is named Steve, though the bottom of the screen says it’s Captain America. He knows it’s Steve because that’s what Steve told him, when they were fighting, when Steve was still the Soldier’s mission. The Soldier is very unsure of whether Steve is still his mission. If he is, then the Soldier has failed. And when the Soldier fails, he gets punished. The Soldier hasn’t received any punishment yet, so maybe Steve isn’t his mission anymore. Or maybe this sudden freedom is his punishment. The whole thing is confusing, and the Soldier throws the remote at the TV hard enough to crack the screen and send the whole thing into blackness.

\--

The third time the Soldier sees Steve on the news, he’s somewhere in the middle of Washington state in a little town called Sunnyside. Ironically, it’s raining, and he’s ducked out of the rain and into a bar. He’s been walking for a few days now, aimlessly, dodging police cars and other pedestrians. He’s been remembering more and walking seems to help, oddly. It clears his mind of other things to make room for memories, which are coming back in bits.

_His hand, that of a young man, a strong young man, reaching out with a wet washcloth to wipe the face of a boy covered in his own blood. His face is too bloody for the features to be recognizable._

_Legs swinging off the dock, ice cream in his hand, licking and watching boats and dock workers._

_A pretty girl twirling around in a red dress in a crowded dance hall, but he is distracted by the retreating back of a smaller boy in the doorway. He moves away from the girl and toward the boy, then the memory fades._

The Soldier wants more of these memories, and so he’s been walking, trying to piece them together. The dancing girl, did it come before or after the boy with the bloody face? And was the boy with the bloody face the same as the boy in the doorway of the dance hall? Was he alone at the dock or was the boy there? He suspects that he was, since all of his memories involve this boy. He isn’t sure who he is. He wants to know more than anything.

Now, in the bar, he orders a beer, “Any beer, just a beer,” and settles in to watch the TV. It’s a news program. Steve is sitting in a chair across from an interviewer, but the Soldier barely notices the interviewer. His highly trained senses and attention to detail are waning as he falls into his memories, trying to place Steve into them, to see if he fits in. He doesn’t really, like a puzzle piece that seems like it should fit but it just doesn’t.

He’s so busy thinking about this he doesn’t pay any attention to what the subtitles read at the bottom of the screen. He knows he’s seen Steve somewhere other than the helicarriers, and not just because Steve told him. He thinks Steve would have said anything to get the Soldier to stop killing him, and it worked. He planted just enough doubt into the Soldier’s mind for him to save Steve’s life. But the Soldier doesn’t believe him.

\--

The fourth time, he doesn’t see Steve on the TV. It’s in a newspaper. An old one, a few weeks old, in fact, sitting on the front stoop of a house he’s squatting in. It’s been abandoned recently, foreclosed probably, he’s not sure, doesn’t care. It has a bed, and he’s tired. He’s been walking and running and he wants to sit and stay for a little while. He’s in Montana.

He leaves the newspaper there for a day or two before he gets bored enough to check it out, and when he does unroll it, he’s shocked to see Steve’s face looking right at him. He curses under his breath.

He reads the article hoping for clues as to who Steve is, and what he is in relation to the Soldier, if he was lying or telling the truth, but all they’ve printed of what Steve said is “I am bisexual.” The Soldier isn’t sure what that means, though the word sounds vaguely familiar, as if he heard it once or twice but it’s been muffled by time, and he isn’t sure why he should care. He puts the newspaper down and doesn’t pick it back up. The clues he needs aren’t in there, he knows, so it’s not worth it to try to understand.

He finds himself in town – it’s called Bigfork, which is as ridiculous as Sunnyside in Washington – a few days later for food, because he’s trying to get the hang of providing for himself. Of course, he has to either steal money for the food, or the food itself directly, because HYDRA, bless them, didn’t leave him with a trust fund. He’s heading to the grocery store, wearing a big hat, jeans, boots, and a flannel shirt, blending in like he’s learned to do over the years, with a knife in his boot, just in case. As he walks down the sidewalk he passes by a library, and on a whim, decides to go in. He’s not looking forward to this particular errand, because the grocery stores he’s seen have all reminded him of a mission he did in a grocery store once, God knows how long ago, maybe last year, maybe 1980. _A girl, clutching a Hello Kitty backpack to her chest. It didn’t stop the bullet. He didn’t know why he had to kill her. No one would tell him._

So now he’s in a library.

He goes to sit down at one of the computers. Computers were considered a necessary skill for the Winter Soldier to know, unlike television, so he knows some basic commands and how to navigate things. He’s never used one on his own before, though, and he’s wondering how to make it look like he’s researching for his mission so he doesn’t get in trouble when he realizes he’s allowed to Google search whatever he wants. He types in the word ‘bisexual.’ He clicks on the first [result](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bisexuality). He scans the first few sentences, knitting his eyebrows in confusion and concern. It doesn’t take long before he’s angrily closed the page and stormed out of the library.

He would have just said ‘queer.’

\--

A few days later, the Soldier finds himself at the library again. This time he’s checked out headphones. He’s going to see if he can find a video of Steve. He hopes that hearing him talk and seeing him move might jog his memory. He knows Steve’s significant. Steve had said he knows the Soldier. He said his name is Bucky but also James, and that he’s known Steve his whole life. But the Soldier never had a life. He never had a name. And yet…he’s uncertain enough to be typing in ‘video steve rogers.’

The first result is a YouTube video. The Soldier clicks it, ensuring that his headphones are plugged in. He doesn’t like the way they’re wrapped around his head, reminding him of the machine that would wrap itself around him and ‘wipe him’ clean, and always left him feeling empty but not clean.

Steve’s face comes up on the screen. It’s the same thing he saw on TV, only now he can hear Steve’s voice. He watches closely, glued to the screen.

“Hi, I’m Steve Rogers – Captain America – and I have two very important things to say.”

The Soldier leans in closer, staring in concentration.

“First, I am bisexual.”

That was in the article, the Soldier knows that already. He considers closing out of the window and considering this a failed recon mission, but Steve’s still talking. He has more to say.

“Second. I’m with you till the end of the line. Thank you.”

The Soldier has heard that before. Steve said it on the helicarrier like it was supposed to mean something to him. And when he said it, something in the Soldier had stopped. All of his thoughts about his mission stilled. He was frozen. And now he just stares at the screen as the video ends, similarly frozen. There’s a pulling feeling in the back of his brain, tugging like something’s trying to come loose.

The Soldier is up and out of the library and back to the place he’s staying, putting his thoughts on hold, waiting until he can write it down, as he would if this were a mission file and he has new intelligence to add to it.

He finds a piece of paper and a dull pencil and sits down right on the kitchen floor. He starts writing madly, anything he can remember that happened on the helicarrier, everything Steve said to him.

**“don’t make me do this”**

**picked up beam to save me**

**“you know me”**

**“bucky you’ve known me your whole life”**

**“your name is james buchanan barnes”**

**“not gonna fight you you’re my friend”**

**“with you till the end of the line”**

He underlines and circles the final line, then jabs it with the pencil, as if hitting the written statement will give it meaning. All it does is make a hole in the paper.

The Soldier gets up and paces the room as he rereads the paper, hears the echo of Steve’s voice in his mind. He calls him Bucky but says his name is James Buchanan Barnes. Which is it? Is Bucky a nickname? Why does Steve call him that? How could he know it? And why does he say the Soldier is his friend? The Soldier is his enemy, the one trying to kill him. Is he really just lying to get the Soldier to stop? Or could it somehow…

The Soldier finds himself back at the library. As he passes the front desk the librarian asks him if he wants to get a library card and he gruffly shakes his head. He hasn’t spoken in weeks, just using grunts and gestures to get through the few human interactions he’s had. He isn’t about to start talking now.

He googles ‘Steve Rogers’ and gets a whole slew of information. He clicks on the first link. It’s a Wikipedia page, so he starts reading.

It explains how he’s a Super Soldier, a World War II veteran, the world’s first superhero. He helped the Allies win the war by attacking HYDRA quarters. The Soldier grips the mouse tight in his hand as he reads. Steve crashed in the Arctic and spent nearly 66 years there until he was found. Now he’s part of SHIELD – or, he was. The Soldier isn’t sure SHIELD even exists anymore. He’s an Avenger, meaning he is definitely an enemy of HYDRA’s and of the Soldier’s. But then, the Soldier isn’t HYDRA’s anymore. He isn’t anybody’s. Who is his enemy?

He keeps reading and gets to the biography section. He’s hardly three sentences in when he reads “At a young age he met James “Bucky” Barnes, who became his best friend.” His vision goes dark for a moment and he can’t see. He feels the computer mouse breaking in his hand. He looks down to see he’s holding broken plastic and wires, and without thinking, immediately gets up and bolts out of the library.

He doesn’t return to the house he’s staying in, instead choosing to start walking again. He can’t stay here, he can’t stay anywhere. _Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?_ The thoughts circle his head as he makes his way down Main Street through and out of town. Steve called him Bucky, said they’re good friends. But how? How can that possibly be? Why would Steve tell him that he’s his childhood best friend? This Bucky guy was probably long dead. Did Steve assume the Soldier wouldn’t know about Bucky, and he chose the first name that came to mind, hoping that playing mind games with him would work?

Or was it possible that…?

\--

A few days later, the Soldier has stolen enough money for a plane ticket and bought himself a one-way trip to Washington, DC. He isn’t sure what he’ll do there, but it’s where Steve is, and he needs answers from him. He needs to know what it means. He’ll demand an explanation because it’s what Steve owes him for saving his life.

He knows where Steve lives. He killed the Director at Steve’s apartment. So when he gets off the plane around noon, he knows where to go. He can’t wait until nightfall, he has to find Steve now. He has to know why he lied, why he said the Soldier was his best friend. The Soldier doesn’t know Steve. The only person the Soldier thinks he might know is a smaller boy, with dirty blonde hair and a bloody face.

He’s determined, walking quickly, dressed in a ball cap and dark jacket, ready to demand answers. His head is spinning and he’s a few blocks away when he sees an advertisement on a building that says CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE LIVING LEGEND AND SYMBOL OF COURAGE, OPEN AT SMITHSONIAN. It slows him down, forces him to think, and he realizes that he can’t just walk into Captain America’s apartment and ask questions. He doesn’t know what Steve will do. Will he capture the Soldier? The Soldier is not armed. He only has what he could get away with on the plane, a tiny pocket knife, shoved in his boot.

He needs more information before he goes to Steve’s. He needs at least to know if Steve is hostile; he’d given up fighting the Soldier in the helicarrier, but only once he’d successfully completed his mission. He could have any mission now and the Soldier wouldn’t know it. He has to find more information, and maybe find a way to arm himself if possible before going to Steve’s. So he finds himself walking to the Smithsonian. He can pick a few pockets there as he gathers more information about Steve, and then get himself a bigger knife or a gun.

It’s crowded, and he feels uncomfortable with that. He’s gotten good at blending into crowds but it doesn’t mean he enjoys them. There’s so much stimuli to pay attention to and so many places to look all at once to observe the entire crowd. It’s stressful and he avoids crowded places if at all possible – it had been easy in the northwest, but now in the capital, people are everywhere. He almost considers going back to the airport and just leaving, but he needs to know why Steve called him Bucky.

He goes into the right building and finds the exhibit on Captain America no problem. He takes a deep breath before he walks in, not sure what to expect. There are American flags everywhere and a dramatic voiceover playing in the background, declaring Captain America to be a ‘symbol to the nation, a hero to the world.’ He sighs a little to himself, not sure this is going to actually be worth it. If it’s a lot of American propaganda then it’s utterly useless to him. He’s been taught to ignore American propaganda that will tell him that democracy and human rights are the way of the future, the way toward freedom. HYDRA taught him that the only way to a free future is through control, because people don’t know how to hold power on their own.

He gets to a black wall with a before and after picture: pre-serum and post-serum. The post-serum picture looks familiar because it’s Steve, the guy from the helicarrier and the one on the news and in the papers. But the one in the top picture looks familiar in a deeper way, and the Soldier finds himself being drawn closer to it, concentrating, trying to coax memories he knows must exist into the forefront of his brain.

_A flash – a boy’s face – from the picture, it’s pre-serum Steve, turning his head to look back as he leaves the dance hall._

It’s him. Or at least the Soldier is pretty sure it’s him. He puts a hand to his head, trying to get more memories to come. Is it real or is it just his brain betraying him by putting Steve’s face into a memory he’s already brought back?

The Soldier moves on, hoping to gather more clues. In the center of the exhibit is a lifted platform that displays figures of the Howling Commandos. The Soldier has heard of the Howling Commandos, though not in great detail. He walks over to get a closer look, but his attention is drawn from Captain America in the middle of the giant painting on the wall to the person standing next to him, to the right…

Everything tunnels and all the Soldier can see is his own face, big and most definitely _him_ , standing next to Steve Rogers. How could that be him? He can’t hear anything now but a rushing sound as he looks wildly about, searching for more information, desperate. Why would his own image be there? He wasn’t in the Howling Commandos, he was the opposite of that. He’s been conditioned to hate the Howling Commandos’ memory.

His own face, again displayed large on a glass wall titled ‘A Fallen Comrade,’ draws him over to it. Sure enough, it’s labeled with the name Steve had given him on the helicarrier, James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes. The Soldier reads the information printed on the wall quickly:

“When Bucky Barnes first met Steve Rogers on the playgrounds of Brooklyn, little did he know that he was forming a bond that would take him to the battlefields of Europe and beyond. Born in 1917, Barnes grew up the oldest child of four. An excellent athlete who also excelled in the classroom, Barnes enlisted in the Army shortly after the attack on Pearl Harbor. Barnes and the rest of the 107th shipped out to the Italian front. Captured by Hydra troops later that fall, Barnes endured long periods of isolation, depravation, and torture. But his will was strong. In an ironic twist of fate, his prison camp was liberated by none other than his childhood friend, Steve Rogers, now Captain America. Reunited, Barnes and Rogers led Captain America’s newly formed unit, the Howling Commandos. Barnes’ marksmanship was invaluable as Rogers and his team destroyed Hydra bases and disrupted Nazi troop movements throughout the European theater.”

The dates: 1917-1944.

And yet the photo is him. The Soldier is sure of it. He looks down to see a video playing with clips of himself – or Bucky - and Steve, sitting in the back of an Army truck, then laughing together. He’s mesmerized by the clip and watches it over and over. It has to be him, it isn’t just an uncanny resemblance, this Bucky Barnes looks exactly like him. Perhaps Steve was confused, and thought that the Soldier _was_ Bucky.

It makes no sense. He can’t tear his eyes off the image of…of Bucky Barnes, of himself? laughing with Steve Rogers. There are certain missions he can’t remember, perhaps this was one of them?

It doesn’t seem right. How could it be right? Bucky’s laughter and open happiness in the video isn’t characteristic of the Winter Soldier. He stares for a long time, until someone behind him says, “You maybe want to move along at some point?”

And then the Winter Soldier turns away and walks out of the museum. He’s seen what he needs, and his curiosity is too much. He can’t stay away from Steve now, he needs to know who he is, who Bucky Barnes was, and if it’s at all possible that just maybe, they’re the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there will probably definitely be a chapter three to this eventually, but for now I've wrapped it up neatly because I'm focusing on my other works right now.

**Author's Note:**

> edit: I'm thinking of doing a Chapter 2 which MIGHT involve our favorite brainwashed superboyfriend. Would anybody be interested in that or should I just leave this as is? Let me know in the comments or send me an ask on tumblr @ someonesavebuckybarnes.tumblr.com!


End file.
